Its that time of year again when I live with a clipboard in my hand, a mobile in my pocket and survive on a diet of beer and pizza and adrenaline. Yes - Kendal Mountain Festival rolls into town for another year.

To most Festival goers (known collectively as Festers), Kendal is like a swan, drifting serenely across the water with seemingly effortless ease. Like the swan, underneath the surface the feet are paddling away furiously. Time, then, to give an insight into the madness that goes into 4 days of the social event of the climbing year.

I'll attempt to blog in the run up to the Fest on Thursday evening - after Thursday things may get a little too intense to even open the laptop unless it's to check allocations, schedules, programmes, scripts etc.

So...

Monday: great to walk down Kendal high street and see the banner strung across the road. Up till now the Fest is all a bit theoretical but when there's a banner, you really know we're going ahead. A bit like putting an engagement ring on - it's a public sign of commitment.

Arriving at the Brewery, it's great to meet the BAC tech crew with whom we'll be hand in glove for the next 7 days.

Morning meeting with Martin P from Marmot and Clive A (one of the directors of the Fest) to talk technical details on the Marmot night, "A Question of Climbing". Walking into the Theatre with Steve P from the Brewery to see the stage being constructed is a bit unreal. In just 3 days time it'll be full of expectant faces, but right now it seems a long way off.

Lunchtime in the Warehouse café at the BAC, and then another two meetings to stage manage the opening night and the awards ceremony at the close. This is Kendal's version of the Oscars, though we are thinking about calling them the Alastairs, as Mr Lee has been on the podium that many times. Let's see how he does this year with Moonflower. Hopefully he'll have finished rendering them by now. I well remember him turning up with the Festival cut of On Sight just hours before the world premier.

Then the afternoon with my arse welded to a chair typing notes up and sending out the final allocations and schedules to the team of presenters. I'd have preferred to have had this finalised a week ago but films have been late in coming, running orders need putting together and so on. The final schedule with 110 sessions, over 60 films, 30 presenters and 10 venues runs to a 16 page spreadsheet.

Time for a brief interlude now, and then it'll be a team meeting at 6.30pm, hopefully winding up by 8.30 so I can get back for some food before it's too late...

Screenshot during team meeting - just 3 days to go

Tuesday: In the end the team meeting last night was great. Pretty much all the key players in one room for the final approach. All 4 directors, our long suffering admin guru Claire, Alison who handles all the films, Blue on the staff rota, Ian from the Dojo and Steve the Brewery technical master, covered a lot of ground very quickly. Last minute issues with the programme, accommodation , transport, logistical issues with setup and already talking about breakdown next Monday. A swift pint in the Malt Room, bumping into Brian, Keith and John from the AFA crew who've already started work with this year's team of aspiring filmmakers. Then back to my doss in Kendal and doing follow up emails till midnight, rearranging a few presenters, adding in a few items, taking away a couple. At this stage the firefighting approach starts to kick in. Though things are still calm, any job has to be done pretty swiftly if it's not to be swamped in the sheer volume of tasks that need doing.

I managed to find time for a couple of hours of climbing at the Kendal Wall this morning with Adrian, one of my fellow guides who's also helping out as a presenter. Even so, we started late as I had to conduct a couple of Skype conversations and also found I'd missed one presenter off the final allocation list, so that's a bit of a priority.

Back home via Kendal College to pick up some audio clips for the Question of Climbing quiz which forms this year's Marmot night, then to Lavahouse to get last year's Oscar powerpoint for review. Then reconnect to the internet to draft scripts reply to emails and so on till early evening when it's time to switch off with a glass of wine. Phew...

Tomorrow will see the pressure rise another notch - the last full day of prep before we open on Thursday

Bowmore 12 year old going into the VIP goody bags

Wednesday: started well when we found out that Grimer, one of the team captains on Question of Climbing, who was ill, has now made a miraculous recovery. See you all in the Theatre on Friday for Marmot night. One of the last audio clips gets skyped over to me for checking, then forwarded on to Marmot for inclusion in the powerpoint. Meanwhile one of the films in Family Friendly has to be lifted because a condom makes an appearance at one point, and an extra film has been inserted into the early showings of Climbing and Mountaineering programmes to take the place of Moonflower and the Long Hope which both premier on Friday evening (so we can't show them beforehand). All that info has to go the tech crew and the presenters involved.

Afternoon is spent packing the VIP goody bags in a private room in the BAC which tomorrow will be converted into the film nerve centre with four viewing booths as well as lots of coffee. For the moment it's got a hundred bags each with their own individual bottles of Bowmore.

Evening is spent tweaking the script and running order for the Awards Ceremony. Kind of tricky to finish it when the judges haven't even decided on the winners yet!

Chips and a pint at the Vats bar, then back to the laptop for tweaking the judges biographies and drafting a script for Leo Houlding. TGIt's Thursday tomorrow and we can start....

Thursday: Well - we’re off. Just like launching a kayak in to wild water, or jumping into a steep couloir on skis, the worst bit is just before you commit.

This morning I was all nerves and stress – all those emails that need answering. Stuff I sent out last night that now needs correcting because things have changed. And so on and so on….

Bizarrely, the Brewery was strangely quiet this morning, so I was over at Lavahouse printing admin documents out ready for this evening’s presenter briefing. No point in printing them out till now with everything changing so quickly.

Then from mid afternoon, presenters start turning up and we all realize with some trepidation that we are actually starting. That feeling’s been building all day, with a peak at the VIP launch in the Malt Room. I met Sam Mason (ex-CEO of the Brewery) in the bar and he said “as soon as I hear your voice I know the Festival is about to kick off”. And it’s true – as soon as I step up to the lectern, the adrenaline kicks in and we’re away.

The new trailer looks great – every year it gets better – and then most folk pile in to see Kenton Cool in conversation with Steve Venables. KC sounding remarkably erudite and honest - a great spokesman for commercial mountaineering. Odd to think that, a few years ago, we were all penniless student climbers in Leeds. How times change!

Friday: I should know better than to have a big night on the Thursday when there are still 3 days to go. The trouble is that there are all the folk that you don't see from one year to the next, and then they all show up at once: the presenting crew, filmmakers. climbers and alpinists all converging on a small town and all buying beer at the same time. I seriously meant to have an early night, but ended up in the Vats bar till half eleven and then Nigel Vardy produced some cask strength Islay whisky back at our doss in the Youth Hostel (no 5 star hotel rooms for the KMF staff!). Woke up this morning with a slightly sore head and got straight into typing programme changes for the 8.30 briefing while eating bacon butties in the Warehouse café. A few technical hitches to tackle as the first sessions kick off at 9, while remaining in support of a couple of new folk on the presenting team. As I type this in the mid morning, everything seems to be running smoothly so I can start to get my head straight for the Marmot night lunacy this evening.....

Saturday: We're in full on madness now. Very relieved to get last night out of the way. It's not often I have to out on 3 layers of different lyrcra, a wig and false tits and then spend an hour and a half under stage lights running around acting the fool. The things I do for this Festival...

Once it was all done at 10, everyone retired to the bars. Andy K still going strong with the Pub Quiz in the Malt Room, but it was preferable being there where the temperature was bearable. The Vats bar was just heaving and the temperature was soaring to ridiculous levels.

Bed by 1 am, then up again at 7.30 to do the morning briefing for the presenters. Changes to the programme (inevitable for a Festival), events where we need to push people in to get bums on seats. The problem is that certain events, even with our largest venues with capacities up to 500 bums, fill up quickly whereas other more "fringe" style events with a bit of experimentation can sometimes feel a little quiet. So we try to move people around for the benefit of both the audiences and the creative teams.

Lots of practical issues to deal with too - technical issues at the Moonflower lecture by Jon Bracey and Matt Helliker. Projector not connecting to the laptop, but Jon and Matt dealt with it like true pros and, as Jon said afterwards "Hey, it's Kendal! that's the way things work here and people roll with it".

Pizza, beer and prizes.
KMF 2011 is over. Phew.

Sunday: The think it's all over.... it is now.
Another stunning Kendal has drawn to a close. But I have to say I'm more tired then I've ever been after a Festival. Lots of work and very little sleep, especially Saturday night, with good sense being trumped by beer, pizza and great tunes in the Rab party. It isn't often you get to share a dance floor with Lynn Hill! I think I was still drunk at the 0830 presenter briefing.
A morning's presenting the Climbing 2 programme with a great set of films, including the brilliant Long Hope, then all afternoon on Awards ceremony prep. Up against the wire as always.
The ceremony passed off smoothly and even finished on time - the first time that's happened in 12 years of presenting KMF!

Then the after party with a mix of euphoria and exhaustion....

Monday: a lie in at last! Wake up in the hostel bunk room and realise that, for the first time in 3 days, I don't have to dash to the shower, breakfast, up to the art room, print the briefing notes and get to the intro bar for 0830.
Still, nice to meet up with Claire, Alison and Steve in the Warehouse café and have a chat about the Fest. Everyone's pretty mucg ecstatic about how it's gone this year. Of course we can always get better, but as Robin put it, we really feel like we've turned a corner this year.